Sunday, July 24, 2005
Sunday, 17th July, 2005 10:50 pm
Sitting in an airport lounge waiting with passengers about to take a flight to the US is like a pressure cooker situation. The list of passengers in this flight is usually demographically well represented. You have old uncles and aunties ("my daughter has just given birth to a new child. Very sweet you know - she speaks in english in her second month"), toddlers (who can't stop wailing), and their recently americanized mothers - all of these people jam packed in a small room which doesn't provide any means of recreation or distraction. If you are not a book person, sooner or later you have to strike up a conversation with someone and as it happens, I am always beside some such person (And I love it!).
This time, it happened sooner than usual - even before I checked in my luggage. An old aunty caught up with me because she needed some help with her luggage. We soon got talking till during the immigration check (where they retained me for further questioning for about 15 minutes). Once I was "released", she inspected me with furtive glances for sometime and when she was convinced that I was not a terrorist or an anti-social element, she joined me in the adjacent seat.
What started after that was a riot - she was an amazing conversationalist. We talked (rather she talked and I listened) for three whole hours and not for a moment was I bored. The lady had problems with her spinal cord - So I helped her with her luggage, wheel chair and got her some stuff to eat. Everytime I do that, she will give me one of those soap opera looks and say, "you are just like Srini - my son Srini". (In order to convince her that I don't suffer from short term memory and don't need reminding everytime, I auto completed her every "srini" with "your son srini" from then on). Well she had enough time for her two generations long family story - but there are some killer "gotcha-s" that she had in her conversation that I HAVE TO reproduce. All of these are translated verbatim and my expression after each of these lines can be verbally best expressed as }$£%£~#';:@. Here goes
A (for aunty): Are you an iyer or an iyengar?
Me: No aunty. I am a malayali.
A: Oh. palaghat brahmin. ok.
(I agreed coz I was scared she would throw me out of the airport if she knew I was not a brahmin)
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A: You are exactly like my son.
Me: Thank you.
A: Just that he's a little more older, not so thin and is good looking.
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A: Who do you work for?
Me: SAP.
A: They were doing badly a couple of years before. how are they doing now?
Me: (Surprised) better. much better.
A: I know about all these software companies. I read all the business magazines. They are into database operating system right?
Me: (avoiding confrontation) yes and some more also.
A: Is it good operating system?
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A: Do you have a lot of friends?
Me: Not many aunty. know quite some people but not many friends.
(just then ~Y sends me a happy journey message)
A: What, you tell me you have no friends and people keep sending you messages. Why are you lying?
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A: Have you thought of marriage already?
Me: Too soon aunty. Probably about 28-29.
A: So you have already started thinking.
Me: Not me. My dad ...
A: Don't get married before 30. My son is 29 and he's not yet married.
Me: ok.
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A: I live in HAL second stage. is it a good area? (this is after "my son works in DSP. Is it a good field?". "You are also in lufthansa. is it a good flight?" ... germany ... bangalore airport ... )
Me: I don't know. I am quite new to bangalore.
A: No friends there, nothing?
Me: No.
A: Where do you live?
Me: Close to kempfort in airport road.
A: Oh, that's a very bad area. Two software engineers got killed only last week. are you careful when you are walking in the roads? don't roam around in the night too much.
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and lots more that I don't remember now.
But my favorite one was this -
"You know, when my son was in texas, I used to sit at home at read all those magazines on all those circuits. When my son came home with some problem, I used to solve it for him. Even my daughter is american first class. You know where all this comes from (shows herself) - Genes!" and winks.
Genes indeed.
- posted by Super Ted @ 8:01 AM
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:)
The last time something interesting happened to me while travelling was in Kovai Express. I just read 'The Hindu' which ran a story on biscuit bandits and how they offered biscuits to unsuspecting passengers on the train and looted them of everything. The minute I finished reading the article there was this gentleman who tried to strike up a conversation with me. I was a little wary because he had a 'good day' biscuit packet in hand. Then after brief (very brief from my side) introductions, he offered me a biscuit and that scared me out of my wits. I politely refused him and pretended to read the paper. He tried striking up conversations and I always cut him off and I think after a while he got really pissed. Then a little while later he asked me if he could read the newspaper. I reluctantly gave it to him. Once he read the 'biscuit' story he realized what was going on. He immediately took an identity card from his wallet, the guy was a CRPF cop visiting his family in Coimbatore. It was really funny...I still remember his line
"Thambi,bayapadadheenga....biscuit kuduthu ungala edhuvum senjida maataen."
The last time something interesting happened to me while travelling was in Kovai Express. I just read 'The Hindu' which ran a story on biscuit bandits and how they offered biscuits to unsuspecting passengers on the train and looted them of everything. The minute I finished reading the article there was this gentleman who tried to strike up a conversation with me. I was a little wary because he had a 'good day' biscuit packet in hand. Then after brief (very brief from my side) introductions, he offered me a biscuit and that scared me out of my wits. I politely refused him and pretended to read the paper. He tried striking up conversations and I always cut him off and I think after a while he got really pissed. Then a little while later he asked me if he could read the newspaper. I reluctantly gave it to him. Once he read the 'biscuit' story he realized what was going on. He immediately took an identity card from his wallet, the guy was a CRPF cop visiting his family in Coimbatore. It was really funny...I still remember his line
"Thambi,bayapadadheenga....biscuit kuduthu ungala edhuvum senjida maataen."
:)) That biscuit scare was very eminent a couple of years before right. I remember the scene from "Anbe sivam" too
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